Trenches - Three

Do I love me NOW?  If I looked/ acted like this?  I know, he is so adorable, I think this is such a great photo, such a character!

Well, I hope to have one or two answers.  I am hoping to post this in great Victory!

" call on your God, He will answer you! In that day, when you call on your God, call on your God'. Ted Pearce is singing this now. I think I will, call on God, daily. 

The love we seek, want to feel is found in God. I know our past can confuse us, distort our view, but the Truth remains. God is love. A Pure love. UN conditional love.  Matt. 10: 29-31

I know now that the thing I seek is a better view of this, and since God is love, I know He will answer THIS prayer.  

Just looking at this horse makes me smile, I hope you too. This is such a snapshot of God's smiling at us.

The thing we seek is God, do not think it's found in anything other than His love. I am older than some, and younger than others, but this is true.  I will not argue, I will just share, Love is out there for you to find.  Think about it, why would God give us flowers, rain, birds to sing a love song?  He could have left us all 'alone' and not given us pleasure, but He wanted us to know He loves us.

Whether you are a belly dancer, strip dancer, mom with children and pulling your hair out, a professional boxer, or drug dealer. I don't care what you DO, its Love that we all need and seek. I know the Love and adoration God has for you is REAL. Jeremiah 1:4,5

I have seen it more this week than ever before. God is amazing! 
Gifts from heaven, to light my load. He knows what I need before I even ask.  I hope we ask.

Trenches - Two

This is the second post of three. Self acceptance is so vital, so important. I have a 'brother' in the Faith, and his life is such a shining example of 'God's love, self love' and beauty in the union of the two. Nick Vujick is his name, his ministry is for all and in love to all. If you haven't seen him, I encourage you to look him up and see what God's love is all about. 

This is my desire, my knowing, my purpose. As I look deep within, I seek to find 'why' I believe differently, than what even God says about me.  Yes its true, Yeshua/ Christ followers have doubts too.  I am going to share, because it is in me to do so. I am not afraid of being vulnerable ( I need to be, even if it hurts me ), I find it is the way I grow. I know some of my friends have seen me grow by fits and spurts ( off and on, mostly off ? ), and probably wonder about me and my life.  I have some of the same questions.  Why is it taking me so long in some areas of my life? In other areas, I have a sure 'knowing'. I desire that 'knowing' in all areas of importance.

So, with all this background being said, I ask myself: If a man can love himself, who has no legs or arms, why can't I ?   What is stopping me?  What is the deep, deep thing I believe, that is holding me back from ALL of God's love.  What is it? 

This is the Truth: 
1. No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:37-39

2.For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

3.But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, evenwhen we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved— Ephesians 2:4-5

4.Know therefore that the LORD your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations. Deut. 7:9

5.For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

These are God's Truths. This isn't something a man made up ( let's just say it's God, for those who don't believe ) Lets take the 'high ground' and just 'say' its True. If I believed it, put my trust in the words/ and the Character of the person who said it, then wouldn't I be better off to believe it then NOT?  Of Course!

If you took someones words as 'truth' and they helped you, you would be a better person. Just look at all the success that comes from the man, Anthony Robbins. How much more, God.

Workouts, Healthful Eating - these are my ' problem areas '. They are not as big as some others, like ______________________-- things that get you put in jail or loose your respect.

So, I ask myself, why do I not 'believe' God's love is enough? Well, I do.  I just don't have the answers YET, for why I choose to love ME less- in a few areas.  This isn't in a harmful way, it's in a 'complacent' way. ' For others, they may have such a 'loveless' feeling, they want to harm themselves. I hope and pray you will call me or another if this is you. Pain is temporary, so wait until tomorrow- to off yourself, then wait another day and another.... I have a few answers, others have more- I have lived through a suicide ( my brothers ) and an attempt. LIFE MATTERS- YOURS is given by God. Hang on, laugh, eat, take a nap. Hang on!
...

Decisions in the Trenches

This is post #1 of 3: 

March 2013 brings new things, and new ways. I hope and pray to get to the root of a long time issue. 

I hope to glean some things as I journey together with God. I have high hopes I will learn something, something of value. 

It is the glory of God to conceal things, but the glory of kings is to search things out. Proverbs 25:2

I am searching oh King. 

I find my source of direction is from the Bible, God. I am now sure this is the only way to go. I hear it all the time, " follow your heart ", yet God says of our hearts :

 The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? Jeremiah 17:9

The thing I am contemplating is this; Can I REALLY accept myself, and love myself?  I say,  "God loves me, and you". I am able to believe it for you, but wonder if I really believe it for me. If we are to love others, the way we love ourselves, then it behooves us to love ourselves first and well. 

I know this isn't 'selfishly', or in a 'me first' way. It is more like: Alpha Horse Confidence.  KNOWING you are valuable, because your Creator gives you value. 

This is easy for me with you: being crippled, blind, different- any sort of different, over weight, under groomed, over zealous, full of self confidence, believing/acting differently... I get THAT. Yet, when I look in the mirror, I hear: 'change this, change that'.  

Romans 7:21-25 says: "So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me.  For in my inner being I delight in God’s law;  but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me.  What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?  Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

The trouble is this: I know what God says, and I hear my own 'voice' in my head. It could be another voice I hear, a mom, a dad, an ex, a neighbor. Anyone who spoke to my heart and added to the 'deception' already there. 

This is why I can't afford to listen to my 'heart'. I may have been told, " Don't act like that ".  When in Truth, God says, ' Be yourself, I will love you no matter what ... and by the way..., try to speak a bit more 'gentle' next time '.  My God is always Truthful, and mostly gentle, but He is also the Lion of Judah!  

Well my post is on my 'self acceptance'. so for starters I will pray this prayer, " Father, please reveal any lies I believe about- loving myself, and how it is affecting my perceived value.  I ask that you show me how to undo the chains in me, Thank you so much, in Yeshua's name, amen. "