Trenches - Two

This is the second post of three. Self acceptance is so vital, so important. I have a 'brother' in the Faith, and his life is such a shining example of 'God's love, self love' and beauty in the union of the two. Nick Vujick is his name, his ministry is for all and in love to all. If you haven't seen him, I encourage you to look him up and see what God's love is all about. 

This is my desire, my knowing, my purpose. As I look deep within, I seek to find 'why' I believe differently, than what even God says about me.  Yes its true, Yeshua/ Christ followers have doubts too.  I am going to share, because it is in me to do so. I am not afraid of being vulnerable ( I need to be, even if it hurts me ), I find it is the way I grow. I know some of my friends have seen me grow by fits and spurts ( off and on, mostly off ? ), and probably wonder about me and my life.  I have some of the same questions.  Why is it taking me so long in some areas of my life? In other areas, I have a sure 'knowing'. I desire that 'knowing' in all areas of importance.

So, with all this background being said, I ask myself: If a man can love himself, who has no legs or arms, why can't I ?   What is stopping me?  What is the deep, deep thing I believe, that is holding me back from ALL of God's love.  What is it? 

This is the Truth: 
1. No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:37-39

2.For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

3.But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, evenwhen we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved— Ephesians 2:4-5

4.Know therefore that the LORD your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations. Deut. 7:9

5.For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

These are God's Truths. This isn't something a man made up ( let's just say it's God, for those who don't believe ) Lets take the 'high ground' and just 'say' its True. If I believed it, put my trust in the words/ and the Character of the person who said it, then wouldn't I be better off to believe it then NOT?  Of Course!

If you took someones words as 'truth' and they helped you, you would be a better person. Just look at all the success that comes from the man, Anthony Robbins. How much more, God.

Workouts, Healthful Eating - these are my ' problem areas '. They are not as big as some others, like ______________________-- things that get you put in jail or loose your respect.

So, I ask myself, why do I not 'believe' God's love is enough? Well, I do.  I just don't have the answers YET, for why I choose to love ME less- in a few areas.  This isn't in a harmful way, it's in a 'complacent' way. ' For others, they may have such a 'loveless' feeling, they want to harm themselves. I hope and pray you will call me or another if this is you. Pain is temporary, so wait until tomorrow- to off yourself, then wait another day and another.... I have a few answers, others have more- I have lived through a suicide ( my brothers ) and an attempt. LIFE MATTERS- YOURS is given by God. Hang on, laugh, eat, take a nap. Hang on!
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