Dress Code 101, Mentoring in Dress

How to dress in a modest way in 2012:

The current style of wearing skirts that accentuate your curves and shape, is fashionable, but if you are asking, a virtuous woman and a woman who wants to attract a man of values, these short skirts are just the thing to attract the wrong man. 

They need to be long enough to cover your leg to your knee when sitting down, comfortable and not skin tight.

" HOW do you tell if a dress or skirt is modest? . "

"Well, after raising four boys, and hearing from them how hard it is on them at church, at a restaurant, or just out at the store, I decided to define 'a dress code' for my daughter when she was old enough to wear dresses with fashion in mind.

 I thought and prayed and came up with some 'guidelines'.  Now, I can't make her dress modest, but I hoped she saw it as a sign of Self Respect and desires to respect herself.  If this information seems like a fit for you, I am glad to be of help.

As a youth I was not told how to dress or what to wear or why. I don't know if you know this, but God made a man to 'see' a woman with his eyes.  Now this might seem obvious, but a woman 'see's' a man with her emotions or heart and also her eyes.


God made men and women different, and to say it as delicately as I know,
 "women are making it hard for men think pure thoughts and not become tempted".  Yes, its our department to 'respect' men.  How can a man learn to love a woman for WHO she is, if his eyes are on her 'clothing, or lack of'.  He will be distracted and he will be looking for what the TV and Magazines tell him, look for a 'sexy body'. 

I am not condemning anyone, because like I said, I was not told, I had to learn by trial and error, lots of error.  

Maybe you are just thinking about this now, so there is nothing to do but move on and do your best.  I really believe God cares how we dress, because He mentions it in His Bible."

I would suggest as your mentor that you think of these 'guidelines' for dress and seek God for His wisdom:

1. Tops/ T shirts/ Sweaters: keep the scoop or opening higher than your eye can see, if you look down, not gaping open. Layering is a wonderful fashion detail, and these days it is so easy to do.

2. Skirts: loose enough to allow your slip ( yes wear a slip ) to move freely. Also, when you sit down the hem needs to be within two inches of your knee cap. ( sit with legs together also, but its not good for your spine to cross your legs, so just cross your ankles).

3. Pants: Never show undies in the back, and keep them loose enough to move without a struggle or jumping up and down to get them on :-)

4. Dresses: Same as a Top/Skirt, just like they are sewn together. 

You may feel 'awkward' at first, but think of the men who will think BETTER, yes better of you. ( as long as your behavior is also modest ).  Men, and boys really do admire a fashionable dresser with modesty as her guide. 



Respect yourself first, no one will if you don't. 

These are general guidelines, and you can mull this over and let me know what you are feeling and thinking.  It will take some adjustment, in what you wear or maybe just a few camisoles layered up and that will put the view higher - on your face

It take  some time, but don't you think you will feel more like a lovely woman or a woman who might be attractive to the 'right' kind of man?   Be the 'flower' you want to be, who God made you to be, and you will attract the right 'bee'.  

I will give some other background information soon, this is really just a snapshot.  When you look at a photo, you don't get the 'whole picture', I will add to this very soon.  It's really some food for thought, I hope you will at least consider what I have suggested. 

Who Spilled the Beans? Can we learn from THIS?

This morning started out bright and early, ready for whatever came my way.  How I praise God for teaching me to Praise Him in ALL things. REALLY. 

You say, " Spilled Beans?!, Praise God?! ". Well in the great words of a person inspired by God, 1 Thes. 5:18 " Praise the Lord in ALL living things. "

Phil. 4:4 " Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I will say Rejoice. "

Spilled Beans, Baby Messes, Flat Tires, Late Appointments, Birth, Death, no money, lots of money, sorrow, joy, kitties on your arms so you can't type! ( Yes the cat thinks I need her comfort on my forearms as I type this! ), I can't think of one situation where God didn't mean it. ( yes, I thought of everything from Auschwitz to Cancer to Prison camp )

He has stated it over and over and over again, so the message sinks into us as we listen. 

Spilled beans at 6:30am

I woke up planning on having coffee, and got the beans out for dinner for us and friends, and my arm caught the bean container and spilled 1/2 of what was in my container. I could have saved them, but they had 'dirt, and dirty floor' in them. 

You see Friday is cleaning day. 
and at 6:30am the job hadn't been done.
last week it didn't get done, because of a busy week - ok--- I just never took time.

doing what we need to do, when we need to do it is prudent. I need more prudence in my life.

Praising God in all things is a great thing to do, I practice this, but need to practice doing the things I 'don't feel like doing'.

spilled beans = spent money, but not wisely/ we are to be wise stewards of Gods resources.

Do not condemn ourselves. 

Laugh.more.   

No Anxiety

No SHAME

These are a few of the lessons I am learning  over and over in Life. My foundation is 'set', but the 'building' needs a 'redo'.

So, join with me, and sing a song, laugh a hearty laugh, because you will see Love and Grace better. God is Able! 

It keeps raining, raining, raining

How do you feel when it rains for days and days ?  I know some feel sadness, of not being able to 'get out' and play tennis, or go for a hike or star gaze.  It can be overwhelming, but if you can get out anyway, it really does lift your spirits. 

 Rain won't hurt you, not unless you are the 'wicked witch' in the 'Wizard of Oz'.  I don't think you are that, she is made up anyway.

Not: rain, sorrow, being down, difficult days, none will hurt or damage - unless we have the mind they will. 

Raining, raining, raining, how do you feel? 

Straining, straining, straining, to keep my countenance up.

Laughing, laughing, laughing at the weight on me,

I can look at others and see what 'they go through' is Harder - than me. 

It takes some practice, but you can have a great attitude in ALL things. Rain or shine.

Phil. 4:14  "Rejoice in the Lord always, again I will say Rejoice"
Phil. 2:5 " Having this mind in you, which also was in Christ Jesus "

Having a 'good/positive attitude' is great, but does having a good/positive attitude create 'things'?  Does a 'positive attitude ', clean up a mess of spilled Quinoa?  NO. ( see spilled Beans post, now this was just providential!)

 We don't  often rejoice when we make a mess or others do, we mostly get 'sour'. This is human nature ( maybe you are an exception to that norm, that would be great )

Yet, having a 'Rejoicing' Spirit is from God.

If you see 'Rain' in your life, Rejoice!  Why, because after the rain comes fresh air, clean skies, watered plants - FREE, watered lawns, Green, Green, Green! 

After the 'trouble' comes the 'blessing'. Isn't this true often? 

After an 'accident' you are actually stronger from the physical training, the emotional strengthening, learning how to adjust in a 'difficult thing'.  

Rain, Rain, Rain - come on!

Rain, Rain, Rain - we need you!

Rain, Rain, Rain - I rejoice in God's provision.

How can I say this?  Because I tried the opposite : Anger, Bitterness, Hate, Rage, Revenge, Frustration, Lack of Self Control in my words, and emotions. I didn't just 'try it', I wore it, soaked myself in it, became comfortable 'wearing them' and then God started to reveal 'my heart'.

Those years caused a lot of damage to my family, but in God's grace, He is able to restore.  I do not want to be that: bitter, biting, complaining, selfish person. That is not who God made me to be.

Can people change from bitter to better? Yes, in Christ Jesus. How else do you forgive the unforgivable, and rejoice that it happened too!

God IS Able!

Eph. 3:20   Now to Him who is able to exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think. according to the power that worketh in us.

This work is Gods work. ( power = Dunimis power = like dynamite! ) we can change, no doubt, but we can't change our heart/ spirit. Only God can forgive us for harboring 'bitterness.....'.  Forgiveness is what changes us, not anything else.

Jews and Gentiles alike, need Gods Forgiveness. 

Guest Post: String of Egg Lights

To make your very own String Egg Lights you’ll need: 

a glue gun, glue sticks, 20+ hollow eggshells (in case some break), a string of 20 Christmas lights, and a metal cake tester (or a blunt needle. I tried a toothpick, but it didn't work).

   Note: When you make scrambled eggs or bake a cake, make sure you DON’T crack your eggs. Blow them out.  This is how you do that: 

  

Get your metal cake tester and poke one tiny hole on the more pointy end of your egg (unless you want the more rounded part of the egg at the bottom of the light).  

   Now you flip the egg and make another hole. This time make it a bit bigger. 

   Stick your cake tester into the big hole to break the membrane on the inside.

 Now, put your mouth over the small hole and blow the egg out. 

 Once you have your 20 eggshells, make the your bigger hole even bigger. Big enough to go over the light.

 

     Before you glue anything, start decorating, if you’d like. I tried:

Drawing. It looks pretty cute. Especially the stars.

Kissing it. This looks fine, but the lipstick smears. If you like this look, maybe cover the kisses with clear nail polish.

Quail egg. Okay, but they’re so small and not as easy to get.

Tea stain. The eggshell looked great, but the light didn’t shine through very bright.

Pinholes. This is my favorite. I used the cake tester to make the holes. Be very careful. Sometimes the eggshell will break on you.

Plain. This looks nice and simple.  

 Lastly, you glue the eggshells to the lights.  

I started with one plop of glue and let it dry to get some security. Then I finished what needed gluing. 

To make the drying time faster, I used a handheld fan. This is not necessary though.

Finish gluing all your eggs to the lights and you're done!

Note: If one of your lights go out, all you have to do is break your eggshell, replace the bulb, and glue on another eggshell. Or, if one of your eggshells breaks/cracks, you can remove it and glue on another one.

Handle with care and keep away from cats and dogs who like to play with eggshells.

Enjoy! Now you know! The best part is this young woman is already 'mentoring' and didn't even know it.  Mentoring, is sharing your life, talents, skills, lessons and love.  Thanks for sharing with us!

My missing my brother, Bill

Today is April l 2012. Such a day, such memories. 

One event that CAN change your life for good and to be a more compassionate person if you let it is: Suicide.

This is the day 40 years ago that my elder brother 'took his own life'.  

Let me tell you about him, from what I have gleaned over the years.  Since I was 10 and my brother after me was 7, we were young and not to 'well acquainted' with him. 

William Mertroe Stiles, we sure miss you. Genius you were, kind hearted, strong as an ox, creative, leader, loved and admired by young and old. 

My Grandmother: Ethel Boyd Hollinger said once, " it was because he got hit to many times in Football and Wrestling " that he took his life. ( more on that later, another day ).

Class President of YHS 1972, Wrestling Captain, Football Team Captain, Friend, Brother, and Boyfriend. 

I know life has it's problems, and maybe your girlfriend broke up with you, you were so in love. Was that it?

I know you had been in a tournament for Wrestling and had a tooth knocked out, Was the impact to your head to much?

We can never know, but I pray God lets us meet again.  I have a strong confidence that you left this life with Gods Grace.

17 years old, but you had accomplished so much in that time, you made your family and friends proud to know you.  

These are a few of your friends accomplishments:

One friend is now a pilot with American Airlines and has such love and care when he speaks of you. 

One friend is an Ophthalmologist, another a Superintendent of a fine NY school district. 

Another friend is the leader of a huge Insurance Company, he misses you so much. 

Another yet is a Missionary with a large origination.

You came from friends who were your equal, Super Smart Kids who did great things with their lives. 

What would have your life been?  Would you have been a great Pharmacist? A Dr.?  What would the last 40 years been like?  I can only dream and wonder, just like all of us. 

Let me tell you how we are doing now:

One sister has her own beauty salon and is married now.

One sister has raised five children and now is a Christian and follows Jesus Christ and the Bible.

Your little brother is a genius at Construction and is married. 

Mom and dad are 80 and 81, and are doing well. 

They have split up, but they are 'better' apart, it might have happened anyway, but your death was a big blow to them.  As to all of us. 

In 40 years there is still open wounds, but we 'don't go there'.  We just don't. 

The first 8 -10 years were pretty rough, but we survived. Then moved on, and then began to heal. 

The next 10 were full of new memories, grandchildren for mom and dad, and traveling adventures. 

The first grandchild, a son, was born on April 1, 1984.  He is smart like you Bill, he is a writer and loves to create with his mind.  I had to wait 3 weeks extra for him to be born, and then God arranged it to be April 1, of all days!

What a blessing, God brought Life on the day of tragedy, thank you for my son.

After those years we just all seemed to 'do life', and yet always had you in our hearts.  

We are all here. As healthy as we can be with a piece of our heart gone, no one has gone out of their mind  ( although it was a temptation ), no one has been in jail, no one has been living a life of immoral choices.  We are alive.  

My faith and Hope of a better life has sustained me, my family has not had this 'support', but they are 'supported' by love of friends and family. ( because in honesty, I would have 'wimped out' in depression if not for Gods love near me )

This year the class of '72 is having their 40th reunion, you will be there in hearts and minds.  We love you Bill, and sure do miss you. 

Yes, Life kept moving forward and here we are 40 years later.   Hurting, Healing, Hoping and Missing you.  

We all kept living to honor your name, we all kept living to share your life with others who needed hope, we all kept living to share your memories.

Gen.50:20  As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good. 

( my note: evil comes from demonic forces, God does allow it, for our good or correction ) Will you trust God again - today?